Color Me Green As I Step Into 2020!
“My life suuuucks!
I don’t have time to do anything!…I don’t even know what I want to do…
What is this? …I’m frozen. What can I do?! Really!”
Have you ever been here?
It’s the pits to be stuck. At 42 I’d been practicing law for 10 years. I was a partner…I wore my suits every day… I tried to meet everyone’s expectations. When I gave myself a break, I could stand up and peer around the edge of my window. I could see an edge of the Picasso in Daley Plaza. “In the summer people had fun at the farmer’s market,” I mused wistfully. I was a hard worker… handling emergency court calls…representing people at war with their spouses or bosses…I I got home late…I worked a lot…even on weekends.
I carried a large calendar…I just couldn’t schedule anything unless I had a view of a whole month. My calendar was a blur of blue…scribbles everywhere…some things underlined (URGENT, of course)!…some scratched out…others filling in the margins. “Who am I?” I wondered. “ I can’t even see myself in my calendar.”
One day…I glommed on to a tool. A GREEN PEN. Little did I know it would save my life.
I began to color-code my calendar. I went back a month just to see what I’d been doing. I circled work in RED…yeah…stop…pay attention…this schedule isn’t easy to change. I circled general things in Blue…coffee with friends…volunteer work…dinners out… They were flexible…I could make any changes I want with Blue. Then there was GREEN.
GREEN for me means “go”…just like a GREEN traffic light. I don’t allow myself to change My GREEN schedule…no way! Once it’s there…I don’t mess with it. GREEN is for me…it feeds my curiosity…my soul…it restores the juice in my life!
I like to think of it this way: when I get on a plane, the first thing the stewardess says right before takeoff is, “When the oxygen masks drop down, put yours on first…then help someone else.” Bottom line? I have to be my own stewardess!…making sure I honor my GREEN.
Slowly, as I used this tool, I discovered I got better results…all around.
It looks like this: GREEN might mean I go see a psychic…or a movie…just for fun, take a walk in the woods or Millennium Plaza, go to lunch with a friend, paint t-shirts, wander through art supply stores. All the receptionist and my secretary knew was I “have a meeting…I’ll be back at …”
GREEN might mean visiting one of my children, skiing or having fun with my husband, visiting an old friend, attending a workshop…don’t think Continuing Education…think “Integrated Awareness”…like my first experience with the paranormal.
I stretched…I left my routine…my comfort zone…behind. At first just a little…then more often…eventually falling in love with life…but that’s getting ahead of my story. We’re just talking about “toe in the water” right now.
You might wonder how I managed to do all this when judges wanted to schedule hearings, or partners or clients wanted a meeting…always urgent of course! Somehow whenever I said simply and with great fortitude, “I have a conflict…can’t do it then,” no-one challenged me. They simply chose another date.
When I do good work, they…all of them…will wait. I just say, “I’ can’t do that until next week.” Trust me. They believed me…as long as I believed myself. No need to explain.
I can hear you…“Yeah, right…she’s her own boss. I have a 9 – 5 job.”
Look…this isn’t rocket science. No excuses! Choose one thing…ONE POSITIVE THING. Schedule it…on the weekend…at night…or get up an hour earlier to take a walk…read a book…paint…something YOU want to do for you. Whatever it is…Schedule it! DO NOT INTERFERE with it. Stay focused and positive.
Mantras
You might try a mantra to intervene whenever you feel doubt creeping in.
The Creator in me reveals
where I am to be
who I am to be
and what I am to do.
or
The Creator in me reveals
the divine mission in me.
I accomplish my divine mission this day.
I’m in the right place…at the right time…
doing my Creator’s work.
These work! They calm anxiety. Repeat them…often…until you own them… and they own you.
The first time you hear yourself saying, “I have a conflict…can’t change it,” is the scariest…the second, not so bad…by the third, you’ll begin to feel some ease creeping in. The more you own the GREEN in your life, the more ease you’ll feel.
Gradually, one step at a time, bosses, partners, clients, family…all will begin to respect you and your boundaries. In fact…before long they’ll be wanting to know how you stay so positive and do all you do.
Help them focus on a positive step…out of their comfort zone… Give them a green pen! …maybe even a mantra.
Remember…pay attention to the comfort barometer…open to tools to shift what’s happening…focus on the positive
You and the world will be better for it.
Happy 2020!